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How I Help
Many people come to therapy feeling like they’re functioning, but not fully at ease — carrying patterns and coping strategies that once kept them safe, but now feel exhausting or limiting. I light up when those “aha” moments land: when something clicks and a client realizes, “Oh… I don’t have to carry this anymore.” That recognition often marks the beginning of real change.
My training allows me to notice patterns quickly — not only within individuals, but within the intersectional systems and narratives that shape identity, relationships, and self-worth. Together, we slow things down enough to understand what you’ve been carrying, name what’s getting in your way, and build trust in your own internal signals.
From there, we focus on turning insight into agency. Boundaries become clearer, communication feels more accessible, and coping shifts from survival mode toward intentional choice. My own journey through these systems and patterns also fuels my passion for helping clients rewrite stories that no longer serve them — so you can move through your life and relationships with more ease, self-trust, and connection. Not just surviving, but creating a life that feels fulfilling, grounded, and authentically yours.
My Specialties
This is a space where you don’t have to translate yourself, hide parts of who you are, or shrink to fit in.
I work with people navigating trauma and relationships, with a focus on communities that are often overlooked in both everyday life and traditional therapeutic spaces. This includes LGBTQ+ folks, people in non-monogamous relationships, neurodivergent people, sex workers, and anyone with an alt-lifestyle orientation.
I help you heal from trauma, feel seen fully and without judgment, and build a life that actually feels like yours. And I’m here to celebrate you exactly as you are.
Have you spent too long carrying the weight of expectations that were never yours?
Maybe the shame, constant people-pleasing, the exhaustion of masking, and the pressure to fit into boxes that don’t feel like home are overwhelming.
Maybe you’ve tried to push through, but you can feel the cost of living like this building in your nervous system.
Depression, anxiety, relationship stress, or feeling disconnected from your body are signs you’ve been surviving instead of thriving.
If you’re here, you’re probably ready for something different.
LGBTQ-affirming, sex-positive care in California and beyond
Meet Austin O. Koestner, M.S., LMFT
I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, sex therapist, and a sex, intimacy, and relational coach. If you’ve ever felt judged, misunderstood, or unseen in therapy, you’re not alone. My practice is a space where your whole self is welcomed — not just the parts that feel polished or “easy,” but the parts shaped by survival, adaptation, and resilience.
My academic background in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies deepened my understanding of intersectional identities and the ways power, culture, and systems shape how we learn to move through the world.
I also served 17 years in the U.S. Air Force, retiring in 2017, where I worked as an intelligence analyst trained to recognize patterns in human behavior, influence, and complex systems. My own healing journey through PTSD related to my service is part of what ultimately brought me into this work.
Together, these experiences inform a compassionate, systems-aware approach to therapy — one that honors what helped you survive while supporting your movement toward a life that feels more grounded, connected, and aligned.
You Belong Here.
Sex therapy with me is about helping you reconnect with your desires, your body, your confidence, and your sense of wholeness.
Together, we’ll explore and dismantle challenges around…
Identity
Trauma
Nervous system safety
Shame
Infidelity
Attachment needs
Communication
Beliefs
Values
Boundaries
Neurodivergence
…and all the other messy, beautiful parts of being a human trying to navigate relationships with yourself and others.
I’m here to help you find steady footing when things feel uncertain, reconnect with your own stability, and build trust in yourself as you take meaningful steps toward fulfillment and goals that matter to you.
How We Can Work Together?
